Boy Says: Possible locations where a first date could lead to gropage (also known as success) in the eyes of a male.
- Rock/Metal gig: nothing better than copping a feel of unsuspecting female crowd surfers: may not be your date though.
- Movie night at my place: “are you kidding, I fucking love the notebook, ghost AND pretty woman, honestly… come round and watch it” Ten minutes later and you don’t even know how my hands made it up your top.
- Bar: if all else fails at least I get shit-faced and try it on with someone else.
- Swimming: may not be the best for groping (seeing as horseplay is not acceptable poolside behaviour) but blacked-out goggles + you in a bikini = strange, boner concealing position in the shallow end for me.
Girl Says: I still haven’t figured out where the best place for a date is but I do know where it’s not.
It’s not bowling. You take turns to stand up and sit down and not really talk much at all. It’s not the cinema (unless you’re 15 and plan to do a whole lot of gropage in the back row). Once again, no talking and if I’ve paid to see a movie I usually want to see it. (If you paid, grope away.) It’s definitely not crazy golf where the date is likely to end in me battering you to death with the club in a fit of rage.
For me it’s somewhere not too busy (like a club) and not too remote (like the woods where you might try to rape and murder me) and if there is icecream involved then I’m probably already planning our kids names in my head. (HAHA! Just kidding. Not.)
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